Guest post from SR - Know your children - A Father Shares How Knowing His Children Makes For A More Successful Family Life

Guest post from SR - Know your children - 

A Father Shares How Knowing His Children Makes For A More Successful Family Life

Note: It is my honor to have this word of exhortation here on my blog from SR. You may have read this other post from this dear father of four (pictured above with his beautiful family). 

http://samuelmartin.blogspot.com/2014/04/a-father-of-four-shares-his-journey.html

This post is guaranteed to minister to your soul. It certainly has to mine! Thanks SR!

"I have discovered that with parenting, a good defense is the best offense. When I take the time to know my children and set them up to succeed, most of those tension-filled moments when I am tempted to spank disappear.

One of the most beautiful passages in the Bible is Psalm 139, where David illustrates the intimacy God the Father has with His child. The first four verses read:

¹ O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
³ You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

This reminds me of how I know my own sons. I know what time they go to bed, and I know when they get up. I can tell you the order they will wake up, too, because it is almost always the same. I know what they’re thinking and what they enjoy. I know who likes apples, who likes fish, who likes juice, and who my chocolate milk drinker is. I don’t even have to ask them their preferences on so many things because I already know what they will choose. Sometimes they think they want something and I respond, “No, you won’t like that.” How do I know? Because I know them even better than they know themselves. This is how God is toward us, and it makes life so much better.

The key to all of this is the first verse where we find that God has “searched me and known me!” God desires to know us and have a relationship with us. This makes all of the other elements of our lives easier. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability.” But how does He know our abilities? Because He knows us.

As a father, I can bless my children so much by searching them and truly knowing them. Then I will know what they like and don’t like. I will know what will trigger outbursts of anger or feelings of being left out. I will know how to calm a situation and bring about peace between squabbling siblings. I will help prevent those tempting situations where they will seem out of control and when they say and do things I know they do not mean. I parent like God when I do not allow them to be tempted (put into situations) they cannot handle. One recent example of a change we have made in this regard is avoiding food coloring and artificial flavors. These tend to make my kids act too hyper and dramatic. We like to celebrate and give treats, but we avoid the ones that will make it difficult for them. This is not “babying” them; this is setting them up to succeed.

Finally, David says to God in Psalms 139:5 that “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” This is how I strive to be. I try to surround my children with opportunities to succeed and be safe. I try to make it easy for them to be “good.” And in the process, I try to place my hand on them to let them know I am there and I love them no matter what.