Girls were, are and always will be girls and boys were, are and
always will be boys
Abstract - Much like today, the division of the sexes were established and
organized early in life. This issue affects how we look at the Bible. A lack of
recognition of and application of this fact (especially by looking through the
Biblical texts through modern eyes) can lead to a misunderstanding of the
Scriptural intent.
I have two daughters aged 11 and 7. They attend an all girl’s school. All of the girls in the school show up every morning in their
nice, neat uniforms. The children rush to line up for their morning songs
before going off to class. But this school is not only a place of learning for
my girls. Even their old dad could learn something new by going for a visit to
the school.
When my eldest child enters the school, she began in pre-school,
which is followed by kindergarten after which comes first grade. No surprises
here. However, one day when I dropped my daughter off, I was in for a surprise.
All of the pre-school girls arrived in their area for assembly for
the morning song and prayer before breaking up into their class groups. In this
area, you had about ten classes of 20 girls each, so I thought, but much to my
surprise I looked in the line behind my daughter and there was a little boy
standing there! Talk about a square peg in a round hole!
I was a bit perplexed at
seeing this for the first time. This little boy was dressed exactly like all of
the other little girls in his nice bright blue smock and his shiny black shoes.
Honestly, it struck me as a bit strange the first time I saw him. In fact, no
one paid any attention to this issue. The little boy, in fact, was just
standing in line like all the rest of the 200 girls assembled to prepare to
head off to the first class of the day.
After going home, I spoke to my wife about this situation. I told
her: “Do you know that there are little boys who are attending our daughters
supposed all girls school?” She looked at me with the most unconcerned glance
saying: “Yes, so what is your point?” I told her: “But honey, this is an all girl’s
school as far as I knew?” She said: “Yes, it is an all girl’s school, but they
do allow little boys to attend the pre-school and the kindergarten. After that,
they go to another school.” This was quite a surprise.
After my daughter got home, I asked her about the little boy in her
class. I asked her if she played with him. She told me: “No, I don’t play with
him.” I thought that a bit sad that this little boy was left all alone. But
then I said: “Why don’t you play with the boy in your class?” She told me: “He
plays with the other boys in the pre-school.” It turned out that there were
about half a dozen boys in her whole class.
This was a bit of a revelation to me and it should not be a
surprise. This is because I am a man and men normally operate in a different
sphere of life than women do. We all fall into this programming later in life.
Boys play with trucks and balls and girls play with dolls and dresses and the
like.
But there is an important point which nature really demonstrates
and this is quite clear even today. It is this: The gender differences between
small children are often blurred and little boys and girls below the age of six
mixes freely and without any concern or care.
It is because of this that little Michel, the boy in my daughter’s
class, could show up to school dressed in the same little girly blue smock that
the other 200 girls in his class had and not care in the least. No one also
cared much when Michel needed to use the girl’s room like all the other girls.
Yes, Michel was a bit different, but no one cared or raised an eye brow. Five
years on, he wouldn’t be caught dead in the girl’s school, because the blurring
of gender lines are no longer blurred. They are crystal clear for all to see
and know about. They are also reinforced by moms and dads who urge their little
girls to be “lady like” and their little boys to be “little gentlemen.”
I have seen the exact same circumstance in observing local
semi-nomadic cultures here in the Holy Land. There is a sphere where women
operate and a sphere where men operate, but what do we find? We find little
boys under age seven remaining in and being totally supervised in the sphere of
their mothers and the other women who operate in the women’s sphere (like their
sisters, unmarried aunts, grandmothers, etc.)
But once they reach age seven, they leave the women’s sphere permanently
and begin their role as “young men.”
There are no surprises here and it must be understood that this
circumstance that we all witness today and which, in fact, mothers are much
more acutely aware of because they generally spend more time with children than
do us men, it must be understood that this situation was similar in ancient
times and we have specific historical records that indicate this.
Young boys in ancient times in the near East (from where the Bible emerged) remained in the care of their mothers until normally about age six or seven. After that, they enter the sphere of their fathers and left the daily care of their mothers.
We have precise textual evidence which indicates this and this should not surprise us at all”
In the article Parent and Child under the sub-heading,
„Different Rules for Boys and Girls‟ in the prestigious Encyclopedia Judaica,
we read the following: “halakhic scholars laid down that children below the
age of six years must be in the custody of their mother, since at this tender
age they are mainly in need of physical care and attention. Above the age of
six, boys must be with their father, since at this age they are in need of
education and religious instruction, a task imposed by law upon the father, and
girls with their mothers (“the daughter must always be with her mother‟), since
they are in need of her instruction in the ways of modesty.” (Martin, Thy Rod
and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me – Page 48)
Now, this does not surprise anyone as it is normal and natural that
this is the case. Just as it was in the past, when I see today a little boy
dressed like a girl in my daughter’s school no one thinks anything about it. In
fact, not only is it unacceptable naturally for a boy to remain in a girl’s
school beyond the normal time for this, the school would not only not allow it,
such a circumstance would simply be unthinkable.
Now, all of this starts to get important when it comes to the
Bible. It is because if we look carefully, we can see specific gender
orientations and structures in the Biblical texts and these are designed by God
to be there and to teach us lessons.
I have talked a little bit about this in several blog posts which
are important reading as I will not cover all the evidence for this assertion
here. Please review the following posts for a better understanding of the
context here.
The books of Psalms, Proverbs and Job make up a section of
Scripture which has a very strong masculine orientation. The exact opposite can
be said for the next five books, which are called the “MEGILLOT” which
are decidedly feminine in orientation.(1) For more information on this subject,
see: http://samuelmartin.blogspot.co.il/2012/07/the-original-order-of-old-testament.html
But isn’t it interesting that the book of Proverbs starts out at
the very beginning with the following text which provides an introduction and
an orientation to the whole book:
“The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to
give prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the
youth— Let the wise hear and increase
in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance …” (Proverbs 1:1-5)
It is important to note the use of the term “youth” in the above
text. It’s importance should not be misunderstood. This “youth” is the one who
is to receive all of these virtuous ideas by reading this book and let us be
certain that these subjects are not for small kids.
I have addressed the fact at length in my book of the importance
of this term but also the importance of this whole book and its orientation to
the male gender. I don’t need to do that again here, urge all interested
parties to review the extensive arguments to that effect in my free ebook –
write me at: info@biblechild.com to get yours or download it now here for free – http://whynottrainachild.com/2013/06/22/download-martins-book/
The important point to catch in this whole argument is that this information
in Proverbs is decidedly located in the male sphere of influence. It deals with
subjects that are relevant and important to the “young man”. They are not for
one moment to be understood to be introduced before a “young man” becomes
exactly that: a “young man.”
We have the following text which outlines when this information starts to be introduced.
"He [Yehuda ben Taima] used to say: At five [one should
begin the study of] Scriptures; at ten, Mishna; at thirteen [one becomes
obligated in] the commandments; at fifteen [the study of] Talmud; at eighteen
the wedding canopy; at twenty to pursue; at thirty strength; at forty
understanding; at fifty counsel; at sixty old age; at seventy fullness of
years; at eighty spiritual strength; at ninety bending over; at one hundred it
is as if he has died and passed on from the world."
In this Mishnah, Yehuda ben Taima sums up the human experience
with simple but uncanny accuracy. It is interesting that although Yehuda
earlier challenged us to such great heights -- to serve G-d with the fierceness
of a leopard, swiftness of a deer, etc. (Mishnah 23) -- here he sees life in such
undulating order and regularity. We reach for the stars, yet we must be
thankful if we merit lives of normality and longevity.
Before we begin examining the stages of life, I can't resist
quoting a parallel statement in the Midrash (Koheles Rabbah 1:2) -- more
amusing, in a pathetic sort of way. In the beginning of Koheles (Ecclesiastes),
King Solomon seven times calls the physical world a place of "hevel"
-- vanity or futility. The Midrash relates this to the seven stages of life. At
one year of age, man is a king, fondled and doted upon by all. At two and three
he is a pig, groping in the garbage. At ten he prances around like a kid. At
twenty he is a horse, preening himself in search of a wife. After marriage he
works like a donkey to earn a living. When he has children he is brazen as a
dog trying to raise and support his family. And at the end of his life he
becomes senile and senseless as an ape. A script few of us veer from. For
better or worse -- as Yehuda wrote above -- life really is a mimicry of the
animal kingdom!” (Here making reference to the ancient Hebrew book – Pirke Avot
-http://www.torah.org/learning/pirkei-avos/chapter5-25.html#)
This is where it is important to contextualize the Biblical texts and, unfortunately, this is not happening today as best as it could be.
Lumping genders together and blurring the lines of cultural
demarcation for the stages of life that are found in the ancient Biblical texts
and are hidden by the use of the term “child” or “children”, misses an
important nuance, which all mothers who normally spend a greater amount of time raising
their children than we men do, are well aware of and take for granted.
Once a boy leaves the feminine sphere of influence, his life
changes. We can see this in evidence in even how modern semi-nomadic peoples still
relate to boys:
Here
is a quote from Professor Clinton Bailey, one of the world’s foremost living
experts on Near Eastern Semi-Nomadic culture. Talking about proverbial
attitudes of fathers to their young sons, Professor Bailey mentioned the
following quoting his own book in a private conversation:
“The
first seven years, treat your son mildly
The
second seven years, treat him strictly
The
third seven years, keep him close to you (to teach him and prepare him for
adulthood)
After
that, lose the reins and let him run free (like a horse)”
For
more information about Professor Bailey’s work see - http://www.amazon.com/Culture-Desert-Survival-Bedouin-Proverbs/dp/0300098448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370544525&sr=8-1&keywords=clinton+bailey
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