John Bradshaw – His influence on my writing
It is hard to
believe that over 25 years has passed since I was first introduced to the
teachings of John Bradshaw by a dear friend (thanks Helen), but I think it is
important to talk about Bradshaw a little bit as I have not really given him
the credit he deserves.
I have mentioned
him in my book (pg.8) as one of the key people in my early formulation of some
of my own ideas. Bradshaw was the one who pointed me to Alice Miller's work
“For Your Own Good.”
I did not really
get interested in Bradshaw’s books per se, which were much more oriented to the
everyday person, but I did get one of his tape series on religious addiction,
which was excellent.
Bradshaw very early
on in his work (which was really massive in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s)
with the rise of public television and his series “On the Family” was one of
the first things that began to get me interested in social issues and
researching the issue of corporal punishment.
Bradshaw was (and I
am sure still is) a believer in Christ, but he was an academic (I guess like
me). Bradshaw said he earned three MA’s, studied to be a Catholic priest and
later in life became an ordained minister in the Episcopal Church. When you
listened to Bradshaw, he would quote Alice Miller, Augustine and Aquinas in the
same breathe. He had the heart for pastoral ministry, but the academic bent for
deep theological discussions.
Bradshaw was one of
the first ones to raise the issue of the rod (or as he called it ‘the stick’)
in my mind. I can remember his series where he talked about the measure of men
in European culture was “how long their stick was to beat their wives and
children with.” This early comment by Bradshaw really is one of those key
moments I think in my own work.
I can even remember
once just under 20 years ago when I personally contacted Bradshaw and he
actually wrote me back with some encouragement on an old .aol email address. I
still have that copy of that email around in my files somewhere as a treasured
moment of connection to a mentor whose work influenced my own dramatically.
Today, though
it is becoming clear how much Western European culture today influences the
whole corporal punishment debate. While the stick for wife beating has largely
moved into the background (I hope) due to the rise in power of women in the
last 100 years (among many other reasons), it still remains entrenched in the
male psyche as the primary tool for “disciplining” children.
This is going to
follow the same trend for children, I believe, as it has for women and it will
take many years to do, but the tide is definitely turning and this is something
that many of us will watch in our lifetimes.
What people like
Bradshaw meant to me are that they were the theological pioneers, who were
holding on to their belief in Christ while reading and learning from Alice
Miller. People like Bradshaw in particular (because he was living at the time)
were a great comfort to young thinkers like me who were having scary thoughts
that challenged cherished beliefs we were all raised with. Others that came
along later were Rev. Dwight Moody and finally the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr. among many others. To these I can add many Rabbinical Scholars like
Rabbi Moses Weinstein and Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe.
What these people
showed me is that it was not only possible but it was healthy and invigorating
to stretch your mind, to challenge long held beliefs, to test hypotheses and to
be willing to find ways to look at things just a little bit differently. This
is the way, I believe, that learning is advanced.
Thank you, John.
Your willingness to share your thoughts helped me so much in my spiritual walk
and I continue to walk in those same shoes you introduced me to some 25 years
ago and I am not planning on changing them anytime soon. Hope to continue to
learn from you for many years to come. God bless you, John Bradshaw.
